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The first experience of pathology in my family took place when the Father hid the truth from us –Monika says. – He was lying to us that mom felt bad.

Father Marek Łuczak

Psychologists agree with each other. Each man has to carry the burden of their childhood behind. Our here and now is influenced by experiences from the past, those realized, pushed to the subconscious and simply forgotten as well. Sometimes one has to face the past and realize the chains that keep us from moving on and sometimes one has to simply forgive.

When life is a writer

Extreme fear and low self-esteem are the features that stygmatise a considerable number of contemporary men. The feeling of rejection, the search for acceptance, resorting to workaholism. For such a big number of people, an insignificant failure is enough to think that it is the end of the world. It has a harmful effect on the relationships- both marital, family and amicable ones.

It happens that the sources of such situation must be looked for in the past, especially, in what was happening in a family. The problem is when someone did not experience in his childhood and adolescence the unconditional love from their parents and did not feel their warmth and support. Maybe the reason for that was the abuse of or addiction to alcohol of one or both parents? Maybe a mother and Father were in an emotional or legal divorce? Maybe there was an adultery or permanent absence of one of the parents?

An attempt at coping with this situation is a book or actually an initiative entitled “Spread Your Wings.” This book had been written for a long time - Grzegorz Polok, the academic Father, the worker at the University of Economics in Katowice says.- It was created in association with the students from the ministry. It is a description of my experience and the experiences of those who walked different paths of life.

Nearly half of us

Some of the students found the courage to overcome fear, shame and stop the long-term silence and for the first time in their lives, they managed to tell a stranger about their difficult situation in family.- In the dramatic stories of students- Father Polok says- full of pain and tears, I found out that their difficulties stem from the attitude of their parents towards them.

The question “ why does it happen?” appears. Why is it so hard to find the source of happiness and take advantage of it every day? There is no unequivocal answer to this question but, for sure, it can be looked for in the book. Only a small number of people realize that up to be 3 years old, we need love the most. If in that time a family lets us down, it will be really hard to make up for this lost feelings.

– The first edition of our publication was created in 2009- says Father Polok- Today we can take pride in over 20000 of the readers. Our considerations are not only about alcoholism but also about divorces and other dysfunctions. But alcoholism is the most important issue.

Nowadays, in Poland there is a hot debate about adult children of alcoholics. This is a whole generation now. The statistics are alarming. As the studies show, ACA (adult children of alcoholics) constitute even 40 % of adults in Poland.

To make this burden lighter

The Father Grzegorz Polok leads a large-scale campaign to promote the book and the initiative named “To spread the wings.” Not long time ago he appeared in the environment of students in Gliwice. – We carry the burden of experiences from our childhood throughout the entire adult life. Sometimes it is as heavy as a bag with rocks- he said. The meeting was dedicated to the problems of people who grew up in dysfunctional families. It was initiated by the students of Academic Ministry of Diocese in Gliwice.- The most difficult part is to start talking about it as we were taught at home not to talk about problems and we think that only we have a problem like this – Father Polok said.- In adult life one has to spread the wings- he added.

Any Internet user can download the electronic version of the book. Typing the website address: , anyone can find not only the text of the publication but also a lot of extra material, including some interesting testimonies. It is worth using this website and recommending it to your loved ones and friends.

Translated by Justyna Gałuch